Visiting the Mouse, With a Mask

We all wait in breathless anticipation for a post-COVID world that has gone back to normal. We sigh in relief as something we used to do is once more available. As a Disney passholder, re-opening the theme parks was high on my list. That event just occurred. As with all re-openings, there are some modifications. What’s Disney like in the pandemic world? Here’s a quick review:

First off, you can’t just drop by. Admission is limited to a fraction of capacity, and even passholders must get a reservation online first. That extra early effort yields dividends.

Social distancing begins early. In the parking lot. Every other space is left empty.

On the way in, you get a free mini-physical, meaning a temperature check. Mid-day, after a walk through the sun-baked parking lot, I wonder if everyone passes. Signs everywhere declare that a mask is mandatory. And a Disney worker will remind you if you forget that. Trust me.

These two thought they were exempt from the mask rules.

At the Magic Kingdom, you have to access the park from the parking lot by ferry boat or monorail. There is usually one ferry boat in the dock waiting. It fills to a capacity reminiscent of steerage scenes in Titanic, and then it chugs across the lake. Today, all three are idling at dock like ships in Southampton before D-Day.

That’s because the ferries are set up for social distancing. Everyone gets to stand on a green dot six feet apart. A full ferry departs looking like this.

The upside to restricted access is there is a lot of space once you enter the park. Main Street is usually so full that you can’t walk down it, you have to shuffle.

Now you could drive a bus down it.

Hand sanitizer stations are everywhere. Before rides, after rides, randomly placed along the streets. There’s finally something more ubiquitous than gift shops at Disney. I availed myself of the stations and by the time I left I felt sanitized down to the marrow of my bones.

Disney P.C. (Pre- COVID) meant waiting in crowded lines among sweaty strangers, bumped by unruly children, and forced to overhear inane whining about the humidity. That’s not happening anymore.

The queues are marked every six feet and you and your party stand on the mark.

That means waiting lines now look like this. You can breathe, except you have a mask on, so you really can’t.

The lines move fast, or seem to, since every departing ride car moves the line forward at least six feet. Some rides like Splash Mountain only fill every other seat.

Note how I bravely face the drop into the Briar Patch.

Fastpass is a Disney system that lets you reserve several rides a day ahead of time, like 30 days ahead of time, so you don’t wait with the peasants. Fastpass isn’t used now, because you don’t need it. Waits are low. Even at 1 PM, no ride was listed with more than a 40 minute wait in the Disney App.

Here is a five minute wait for Peter Pan’s Flight, an impossibility in 2019.

Here is a five minute wait for the annoying ride It’s A Small World. No wait time change from 2019 and still not worth the investment.

Tom Sawyer Island is always lightly populated, a nice break from the seething masses. With metered park attendance, it’s practically post-apocalyptic.

Fort Langhorn on Tom Sawyer Island is seriously undermanned. Luckily, there is no enemy attack.

Dining is different. To minimize congregating people, you order online. The Disney app tells you your food is ready and what window to go to. You enter the restaurant, go straight to the window and some smiling employee (I assume, because they are wearing a mask) gives you your order. This process is fantastic. The norm used to be waiting in line to order, and inevitably being behind a family of five where Mom does an eternal kid-by-kid poll to see what they want. That takes so long I’m ready to just give up and eat ketchup packets off the condiments table.

Once you get your food, you may enjoy the luxury of indoor dining. Every other table is blocked off and the diners appear to be eating on the white squares of the Red Queen’s chessboard. Again, this is great. No one is bumping your chair with theirs, the sound levels are no longer deafening. After this virus is quelled, every new process in the dining experience needs to be kept.

Despite a 92 degree day, all the employees seemed genuinely happy to be there and I was greeted with a “Welcome back!” everywhere I went. I’d like to think it was for me personally, but I’m guessing the Passholder designation on my wristband may have been the catalyst.

A throwback to the days when auto racers wore silk scarves.

Not all the shops and restaurants are open. That includes the ice cream parlor, so be prepared. Some rides are not happening, like the Main Street cars and horse trolley and there are no parades or fireworks. Some rides are modified, like the Haunted Mansion skips the expanding room before entering the Doom Buggies. So you don’t get the full Disney Experience, but you still get a good one. At no time did I feel any more risk of getting COVID than I would be shopping at WalMart, in fact, it felt less likely.

The Liberty Belle gets a sanitation spray-down between sailings.

So, there’s the scoop. Overall, Disney has done great adapting to this pandemic world. I have no idea how they can make money like this, but that’s their problem. My problem will be being spoiled by restricted attendance and a spacious park.

There had to be a silver lining in this pandemic somewhere.

Feeling more like I was robbing a bank than helping defeat Zurg.